Can The Police Help Enforce Your Visitation Rights??

Today is November 29, 2011, it has now been over 6 months since I have last seen my 8 year old daughter.  Thanksgiving break has come and gone and as typical the flurry of emails and text messages that precede a visitation period have ceased from my daughter's mother.  Until the next visitation period, which is suppose to be this upcoming weekend.

I have been documenting the ordeal for a number of reasons but one of the biggest reason's is to try and bring some awareness to the apathy from the judicial system about this very real and all too common problem in our society.

This case has been in the court systems for 2 years.  I filed a contempt of decree charge almost 2 years ago because I was denied my visitation rights for the 2009 Christmas season.  I was then denied weekend visitations beginning in January of 2010 and that is when I contacted a lawyer and started the process.  I had no idea it would turn into this long arduous battle not only with my X-wife but the entire judicial system of Georgia.

The case has been stalled out in the court systems since the early part of 2011.  That was the last I have heard of any court time or information about where this is in the courts.  I have been denied 2010 summer weeks of visitation and now the last time I have laid eyes on my daughter was 2 weeks before Father's Day 2011.

I have been at my daughter's mother's house every time I was suppose to get visitation rights over the last 6 month's.  She has not been there each and every time.  I have a series of videos documenting many of the attempts at visitation.

When I went to get my daughter most recently for Thanksgiving Break I arrived at the mother's house at noon on Wednesday.  I had sent an email Tuesday at 1:00pm stating that would be the time I would pick her up for my holiday visitation period.  At 11:33 am on Wednesday I received an email, this is very typical of the process, telling me all the reason's why I was not going to get my daughter.  I went to the house anyway as I usually do and went through the motions of ringing the doorbell and waiting for a 10 - 15 minutes and then left.

My sixteen year old daughter was visiting for the holiday as well and desperately wanted to see her sister, she has not seen her for over 6 months either and so I decided to go to the police station and see if there was anything that could be done.   I had already had a police officer meet me at the house about a month prior but she was not home then either and so nothing was done.

I was curious as to what would happen at the police station and armed with my decree and my sixteen year old daughter I entered the police station.  When I finally got my turn to talk to an officer I was not surprised when he said there was not a lot they could do.  He took the decree, filed a complaint, gave me a card with the case number and told me I could come back next week and pay the money to get the report.  I asked him if there was not the possibility of having an officer escort me to the door and help me get my daughter during the visitation time that was clearly laid out in the official decree issued by the Superior Court of Georgia.

He said I would be better off contacting the Sheriff and see what they could do for me.  Later that night I put my current wife and my daughter in the car and started driving to my daughter's mother's house.   I called the Sheriff and got a lady on the phone that started asking all of the usual questions and when she understood what I was trying to do said I needed to get a "Keep the Peace" document.  I told her I had never heard of this.  She proceeded to tell me nothing could be done until I got that document and then the Sheriff would be able to meet me and retrieve my daughter for me.  I talked to her a while longer, begging her to see if there wasn't something that could be done now so I could get my daughter for the break.  She put me on hold.

A few minutes later she asked if there was a number to call me back on and that she would have a Deputy Sheriff call me and talk about what could be done.  About 30 minutes later I received the call.  I talked in length about what was going on and yet again was told there was nothing that could be done and since the courts are closed for the holiday I would have to wait until Monday to get the document and start that process.  He told me I would be able to get that document at the North Fulton Annex building.

I went into the North Fulton Annex on Monday following the Thanksgiving break and asked the front desk where I needed to go to get this "Keep the Peace" document and sure enough,  they have never even heard of such a document.  Unbelievable.  I was told I could go to the Superior Court office within the North Fulton Annex building because this was surely something that needed to be done at the Superior Court level.

When I got to talk to the lady in the Superior Court office and went through my story again I was given the same run around.  She has never heard of it and there is nothing that can be done to help me.  She makes a phone call to some person who might have an answer and when the phone call ends it's the same thing.  Nothing can be done and you need to go file a contempt charge.

I have been denied priceless time with my daughter, I am a good father that continues to pay his child support, I have filed a contempt charge, I have been on time and at the pick up spot every time my legal visitation was suppose to occur for the last 6 months.  I have been in conversations with police officers, court clerks and lawyers and nothing has happened.  This is a hopeless situation in our society and in our modern day with all of the focus on poor parenting and dead beat dads and child abuse and neglect when a father who has been blatantly and supposedly unlawfully denied his precious time with his 8 year old daughter you would think someone would step to the plate and advocate for this ongoing unspoken tragedy of our modern family.

My Thanksgiving was a mess but we made the best of it.  It's like having one of your kids held hostage.  I was not even allowed to talk to my 8 year old on Thanksgiving day.  I just don't have words to describe the helplessness that comes with this ordeal.  If you do, please leave your comments below. 

Denied Visitation Thanksgiving Day - Not Even Allowed To Talk To My Daughter

Thanksgiving day 2011 has all but come and gone and not only was I denied the visitation time with my daughter today but the mother also blocked all of my calls.  

I have called all day long and never got an answer.  I did receive one text message though and thought I would let you take a look at that since it is so blatantly sent by her mother since all of the punctuation is included.  My daughter is 8 years old so the punctuation would certainly not be so well laid out.   Especially in a text.  

Happy thanksgiving love marlayna!!!! 

I am at a friends house and can't call right now. I love you.

This was sent from her mother's phone so I don't know why she would not have been able to call me.  In fact I received this directly after one of my phone calls to the cell phone about 7:00 pm Thanksgiving Day. 

In one last attempt I just called the cell phone and the house number a few times but neither was answered. It is about 9:00 pm.

Once again I am just really typing this to try to find some relief because the weight of this ordeal is incredibly heavy.

I feel like people must feel when their loved one is kidnapped.  Helpless, angry, desperate, scared that you will never see them again.  It's a kind of panic that makes it hard to breath at times. 

The idea that this kind of behavior can go on without any recourse is just depressing.  It makes you want to scream and yet all I can do is sit here and try to stay calm. 

If you are reading this and have a similar situation please leave a comment and let me know I am not alone.  I will say the more this carries on, the more I desperately want to find a way to bring about change in our system to give some power to the good and loving father's that experience this kind of torture.

I really don't understand how our society and the rest of the world can continue to allow this to occur and rationalize that this is any different then other forms of child abuse, child neglect, and kidnapping.   

On top of that the pain and suffering that occurs for the parent who is getting refused the right to see and spend time with their children is tremendous.  The loss of time, that will never be returned.  There is no monetary value that can be applied to the loss of time.  

Please leave your comments below and thank you for reading. 

A Full Day of Custody Attempts - No Success - November 23, 2011

I am just exhausted both mentally and physically.  I wanted to write this though before the night turned into the morning and I lost pieces of the day.

Today was a full on battle to try and get my daughter for the Thanksgiving Holiday. This year Thanksgiving is my holiday of rotation but just like all the other visitations that have been taken from me, Thanksgiving has been taken too.

After stating in an email on Tuesday afternoon around noon that I would be at my daughters mother's house at noon to pick my daughter up I did not hear back from the mother until 11:33 am. on Wednesday, stating that I would not be allowed to have my daughter for the holiday. I showed up at the house and video taped the attempt and then went straight to the Sandy Springs Police Department to see if there wasn't something that could be done.




You see this holiday was a little different then the regular scheduled visits because my younger daughters step sister is here for the holiday as well and she desperately wanted to see her sister who she has not seen in over 6 months. This whole thing is such a disaster I can't even get my head around it.  I am so disgusted with the apathy of the system and the lack of sense about what is really going on in our society.  To have such a movement against dead beat dads but completely turn the other way when so many mother's are creating this kind of societal melt down, I can't believe it.

This phenomenon has really started to gain momentum and will cause more harm in the years to come in our society then any dead beat dad situation.  This is ripe with hatred and spite and deceit and every other kind of societal behavioral disaster you can think of. 

The bottom line is once again, but in greater detail there is nothing the police can or are willing to do in this type of case. I was told to try and contact the Fulton County sheriff because they deal more with the civil cases. I called the Sheriff's office to see if I could get a Sheriff to meet me at her house but they are not willing to do anything either. My hands are tied in so many ways it is not even funny and there is no one willing to step up and help out with something like this. The mother gets to act and behave the way she wants and there is no authority to hold her accountable.

The ironic thing about this whole process is the Jury Duty notice I received in the mail last week. I have to appear in court next Tuesday for Jury Duty or else I am in contempt of the court and can be fined or do jail time. This is the second Jury Duty summons I have had in about 3 years. My case for the contempt of the decree and to modify visitation against my X-wife has strung out for 2 years. It seems the courts are able to put the citizens in rotation for jury duty and threaten them with contempt of court more efficiently then they are able to help the citizens work through civil situations that are blatantly in contempt of court.

There have to be more people living in Fulton county then there are cases in front of mine I put in the court systems over 2 years ago, don't you think?

Georgia Father Denied Visitation - November 4, 2011

Here is another piece of the ongoing saga of denial of visitation rights for my daughter. I have not seen her for 6 months now and barely been able to talk to her but for a handful of times. This is a quick video to document the attempt at pick up.

Daughters Request For Visitation - Will This Be Denied Too

Here we are on the eve of another visitation period and very little has changed in the ordeal.  It's October 20, 2011 and I have not laid eyes on my daughter since 2 weeks before Father's Day of this year.  We live in the same city about 15 miles apart.

I am a good father that is current on his child support, loves his kid, has no criminal record, works hard and has been denied the right, as stated in the divorce/child visitation decree signed and proclaimed 7 years ago in the state of Georgia by a judge, to see and visit with his 8 year old daughter.  It's pathetic.

I am documenting the process to have some record of what is happening because the real fact is this is happening around the world and there is very little public awareness.  There are a few small groups attempting to bring about change but for the most part it is swept under the society rug and ignored.

There are all kinds of things I could call it and have in recent posts but at this point, at the core, it is child abuse.

Here is a message left on my phone this past week.  It speaks for itself.  My visitation period starts at 5:00 pm Friday October 21, 2011 and goes through Sunday at 5:00pm.  I will be at the pick up spot at 5:00.  They most likely will not.  What do you call that?


Daughters Request For Visitation

Atlanta, Georgia Father Denied Visitation Sept 16, 2011

It's Saturday morning, 5:00 a.m.  I can't sleep.  I went to bed about 1:30 am thinking that I would sleep late today but woke up and couldn't stop thinking about my daughter.  This was another weekend I was suppose to have her and, YES, another weekend of denial. It's like a heavy weight is laying on my chest and I can't get it off.

The mental and physical torture that comes with this ordeal is amazing.

I had tried to attempt to let this weekend pass without having to deal with what has become a routine at this point.  I knew I would not get my daughter once again and the mental torture that goes on through the week of bantering back and forth with my X is just physically and mentally exhausting and then to be dealt the final blow of not seeing my daughter is just too much to take. 

So the whole week is a struggle.  I just didn't want to go through it again so I waited to see if there was going to be any interaction from the X.  Usually it starts on Monday or Tuesday but this time she waited until Thursday to send an email.  Very short this time.

I responded and then I receive the regular lengthy letter highlighting my great qualities and inability to perform as a puppet for her.  The denial of visitation and have a good weekend.  

I did show up at her house though, as usual and found the car in the garage but nobody home.  I dropped off the child support payment and card for my daughter.  I wonder if she will get it.  And I better drop off the child support payment or I will go to jail.  

This is why there just has to be some changes made.  If I don't drop off the child support payment for the months I haven't seen my daughter there would be a warrant for my arrest. 

How does the mother gets to keep the child from the father even though the same document that states the child support payment also states the visitation agreement? 

How are they different?  If I was not to pay child support then I would owe the money for the back support that was not paid.  Why don't we get the back time that was taken from us.  We might not ever get visitation, how is this possible in our culture.  A culture that spends so much time talking about how important it is to have a father in the children's lives does nothing to help a father that is blatantly being denied the right to be in his child's life. 

It has gotten to the point of watching other father's and families interact and knowing I am just missing such an important part of my daughter's life.  I will never get this back yet there is nothing I can do about it that I haven't already done.  I have taken it to the courts, I talk to my lawyer but nothing is being done except precious time is continuing to pass.  

I shot a short video of the attempted pick up.  

Georgia Father Denied Labor Day Visitation - Child Taken Out of Town - Isn't that Kidnapping?

Well here we are, another weekend of denied visitation.  This one is a bit different then the regular weekends because it is Labor Day weekend.  You know, one of those extra day weekends that would allow for some extended time and more opportunity to do fun things and of course, bond a little since it has been 3 full months of no visitation.

Another thing different about this weekend, and one I consider to be a much larger issue, is my X has taken my daughter out of town.  About a week ago I received an email stating that Labor Day was her holiday this weekend and I would not get to see my daughter based on what she has determined the decree to say about the 3 day weekends.  In her email there was no indication of out of town travels,  only that she gets the Labor Day weekend this year.

I have no idea where they are at this point in time. I did not find out about them being out of town until a half hour before I was going to the X house to attempt to pick up my daughter for the weekend.

Not only is this the first weekend of the month which makes it my weekend as layed out in the decree but the Memorial Day weekend and Labor Day weekend get split between us.  The decree is vague about exactly what is suppose to happen,  I believe it reads that I should get both but years ago I just didn't want to keep debating it and said I was fine with splitting these holidays up.  I had sent a Google calendar to my X in February outlining all of the visitation periods so there would be no confusion this year.

The 2010 summer's visitation was denied based on the idea that I did not request the summer weeks in time.   We were scheduled for a court appearance on April 15, 2010.  I was hopeful there would be a resolve to the case at that point and a new decree drawn up.  The case was fairly new at that point and I assumed we would come to some agreement or a judgement before the summer.  I thought I would be given my weeks of visitation based on the new agreement.

Since there was no judgement and a roadblock on any new agreement abruptly on April 16, 2010, I received an email from the X indicating that I had missed my April 1 deadline.  Therefore, she had already scheduled so many things for the summer there was only a limited amount of time to see my daughter.  These of course were greatly minimized to what I should have received based on the decree and at times I could not schedule time off from work.  So I got none.  This year I wanted to have no issues so I scheduled the entire year with the Google calendar and sent it to her in February 2011.

Since Memorial Day falls at the end of the month, which is an X weekend and Labor Day is at the beginning of the month, which is my weekend, I indicated those holidays would be in that order.   Then we would not have to move around any weekends.

Memorial Day came and went with no mention of the idea that Labor Day was suppose to be hers this year.  About a week ago I got an email saying we were suppose to trade the holidays and blah blah blah.  The fact is she got Memorial Day weekend, Labor Day should be mine and on top of it all I have not seen my daughter in 3 months.  I counseled with my lawyer on what I should do and he said to send her a letter asking to please reconsider on Labor Day weekend.  So, I sent the letter on Thursday night.  

The normal routine that precedes the denial of visitation is to receive an email from the X about 3:30 pm which is conveniently about an hour or so before the pick up.  This tactic is designed to not allow me the opportunity to jump through the hoops she presents in the email in time for pick up.  There is usually a few text messages sent back and forth and about 5 minutes before the actual pick up time the X will state that she is not going to be at the house to avoid confrontation.  In fact she states that she has been advised to not be at the house. 

Well this time was different.  I checked my email throughout the day and as the time got closer and there was no response to the email I sent the night before I wondered what was going on.  So I sent a text.  By some miracle just as I sent the text she sent the email.  I will include it for your viewing pleasure.

This is the email I sent to her on Thursday night at 10:22pm
 

X,

I would ask that you please reconsider this weekend.  You had our daughter for the Memorial Day weekend this year and never mentioned anything about this change in schedule at that point in time.   I have not seen our daughter for over 3 months and only talked to her briefly a handful of times.  I can feel the relationship between her and I dissolving and would urge you to not let this continue. 

I have offered you the opportunity to visit my apartment, the complex and meet the managing leasing agent anytime that would be convenient for you but you have not done this.  Once again I am offering to be here anytime you would like to come and look at the living conditions. 

I will be at your house tomorrow to pick our daughter up for the weekend at 5:00pm.    I am asking you to please allow her to spend the weekend with me.

I sent the text message to her at -  4:26pm on Friday since I had not heard from her all day and pick up was at 5:00pm.

My text message said:

I sent u an email last night asking u to reconsider this weekend since u got our daughter for memorial day and I have not seen her in 3 months.  Have not heard from u.  I am planning on being at ur house at 5pm.

Here email response follows shortly after at 4:32pm - notice that it says nothing about just receiving the text message so it sounds like she just sent it on her own motivation, which is a complete sham. 

Sorry to be getting this so late. I would be happy to accommodate in any way I can, but since it is Labor Day weekend we made plans to be out of town.  You are welcome to call our daughter anytime.  I have, and will continue to try to figure out a way in which you can spend some time with our daughter.

Then I get a text message from her at 4:37 pm stating,

Did not get email until this afternoon and I just replied little while ago.  We r out of town, so can't help w/ur request, sorry.

*****  A little while ago would be 5 minutes ago  *****

I put all of this on here for some documentation purposes.  I really don't know anything else to do and once again this is why I am blogging about this.  The courts are doing nothing, the lawyers are at a stand still and I am losing precious time with my now 8 year old daughter.  This started when she was six (6).  For two years I have been trying to get the courts to help me and -  NOTHING has been done.

This weekend she has taken my daughter out of the state when it is my LEGAL visitation rights.  I say this with some contempt because legal or not, there is no element of the law upholding it.

There is a direct violation of a legal document that carries no weight.  She is seizing, confining and carrying away by fraud in the furthereance of her act of violating the decree and denying visitation as defined within the legal document of our divorce and child visitation agreement.

If I were to do that on a weekend or time she should have the child I would be hunted down and arrested. 

Kidnapping is defined as :  an act or instance or the crime of seizing, confining, inveigling, abducting, or carrying away a person by force or fraud often with a demand for ransom or in furtherance of another crime.

We hear the Amber Law being sent out about a father who has taken his child and is on some interstate on the run.  The alert goes out and everybody goes into alert mode.  The same thing has happened here and continues to happen in our country every day.  This needs to stop!!!
 
I am frustrated, confused, angry and just fed up.  If you are reading this I certainly do not mean to just dump all of this drama on cyberworld but want to try and do something to relieve the pain and maybe, just maybe with enough grass roots movement and stories we can start to expose this behavior for what it really is.

The common term that is cast about in our culture is dead beat dads.  Obama even made a speech about it on Father's Day, of all days.  Meanwhile I was denied my visitation with my daughter on Father's Day.  I am not a dead beat dad.  I pay my child support and want desperately to be in my kids lives.  Why doesn't Obama give a speech about that.

Watch Obama Video Here

Well I am coining this behavior Malicious Moms.  It needs to be stopped because it is as bad, if not worse then a dead beat dad.  A dead beat dad many times does not want to be involved with the kids.  As tough as that is, the kids get it, they know what is going on.  Just like they know what is going on in the Malicious Mom syndrome.

In my opinion a Malicious Mom is more detrimental to our society then a dead beat dad.  In this situation the kids know the father wants to see them, at some level, even if the mother tries to put up these smoke screens,  the kids know.  My daughter knows.  But the kids are denied the right to see their father.  It's torture.  We as a society are letting this situation occur and just standing by, not doing anything about it.

It's time to do something about it.

I would love to hear your feedback as always.  Please leave your comments below.  

Do I Really Have To Get A Lawyer To Challenge The Blatent Contempt - Yes Unfortunatly There is Not A lot You Can Do - Other Than Nothing

I thought the best way to begin this blog space would be to offer the timeline story of the how and the why of this preposterous nightmare.

Lets just say the visitation process has been strained, to put it lightly, from the beginning.  Not to burden you with the details of the relentless onslaught of tactics to shorten or disrupt my visitation periods but they were consistent and exhausting. 

If the visitation period was to last more than a weekend then incessant phone calls would rain in throughout the visitation period.  It's very difficult to have quality time with your daughter when you are the non-primary parent when the primary parent is calling you all the time to talk to the child.  Especially when the child is 3, 4, 5 years old and at any given time something the mother says can invoke the process of missing the primary parent and now you spend the next hour our so reconnecting and diverting their attention away from the the process of wanting to be with the primary parent.  It is one of the most cruel things in the world.  


This intemperate behavior continued without much reproach until the holiday season of 2009.

As Christmas approached in 2009 I was informed by the X that the only time I would get to see my daughter over the Christmas break would be the weekend prior to Christmas.  The decree states that I am to get her for one week.  The Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays are alternated and in 2009 my holiday was Thanksgiving and the X would get Christmas, but only the week of Christmas.  Not the entire 2 weeks.

Thanksgiving that year was tested as well and at this point I was very frustrated and lashed out that she should just keep her for the entire time throughout the holiday,  including the weekend before.   I later retracted that and did get her for the weekend before but the catalyst to this battle as it stands now was being denied not only my allotted week of Christmas but then getting an email from the X at the beginning of 2010 stating that she has decided to remain out of town for an extended period of time and that I would not get my weekend visitation either.

This marked a change in the X actually denying me structured visitation by not being in town and blatantly saying she was denying my visitation rights.  There was an unofficial week scheduled for the beginning of the 2010 year as well but that was retracted.  Supposedly they were still out of town but I later learned different.  They were here the entire time but I was not given the opportunity to see my daughter.   I went well over 6 weeks without seeing my daughter during that period of time.  I thought that was long but later I was to learn differently.

At this point I did not know what to do and so I approached a lawyer about what was going on. 

After some discussion it was determined that it might be $5000 to settle the case, possibly get a ruling of her being in contempt of the decree and implement an entirely new decree that would spell out some details that were left out of the first and clear up some of the unclear parts of the first one.

Had I known now what I didn't know then I really don't know that I would have done anything differently.  The fact is at this point the case is still in limbo, almost 2 years later.  I have no visitation right now and my options are exhausted.

I am aghast that this is what we have in place for this type of behavior and abuse within our country.  The sad part is - divorces happen and visitation needs to be implemented so each parent can participate in the childrens lives.  There are laws in place to intervene if the father does not pay child support but there is nothing in place when a stand-up father's rights are being violated by the other parent.

It is time for some change.  Please share any comments or ideas below. 

Who Am I And Why Am I Blogging About This Topic

I am a Georgia father of 2 daughters and 2 step sons.  At present my kids ages range from 8 years old to 21 years old.  In fact tomorrow my daughter will turn 16 years old.  A true milestone and one that I am excited about spending with her. 

The reason for the blog is to talk about the struggles I am having with my eight year old's visitation rights.  The mother of the eight year old is a different women then the 16 year old.   I have never had any issues with the 16 year olds visitation rights.  In fact, her mother and I have never even drawn up any legal documents.  I have supported her and everything has been smooth throughout the past 16 years.  I am very grateful for that.

The eight year old's visitation has been a completely different story.  It has been  a struggle since day one.  Her mother and I have been separated almost her entire life and so visitation has been happening for the past 7 years.  We do have a legal divorce decree that accounts for visitation within the decree. 

At this point in time the visitation has ceased all together - I have not seen my 8 year old for 3 months and only been able to talk to her a few times on the phone over this time period.  I can feel the relationship dissolving between her and I and at this point I am left with not a whole lot of options. 

Because of the ongoing abuse of the visitation scheduling about 2 years ago I filed a contempt of decree charge against her mother based on denial of visitation over the Christmas holiday of 2009.  This is still in the court systems and one of the reasons I have decided to share my experience and insight to what is really going on with this epidemic in our state and our nation. 

It is my hope that one day the laws can be changed to provide more assistance to the father's that go through this tragedy and have no where to turn.  They are good father's, paying child support and wanting to have a loving relationship with their kids and being denied this fundamental right as a parent.  It is a tragedy and something needs to be done about it. 

This blog will be a diary of sorts about what I have done, what is going on and hopefully what a father can expect if he decides to take the same path as I chose and hopefully get better results.  My hope is that enough of us father's will stand up and be heard to bring about some changes so that the future generations of loving father's don't continue to have to be abused.  The mother's are taken care of by the court systems with the deadbeat dad child support courts.  Why aren't the father's that pay support and want to be in the child's life given the same consideration. 

I welcome your comments and assistance in helping to bring about this change.